James Frangella, Monterey, Carmel, Pacific Grove real estate specialist
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Monterey real estate, James Frangella
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by James Frangella
Written September 30th, 2008 4:00am

“Your operation went smoothly. However, I wasn’t paying real close attention and accidentally removed a testicle. You’re one short,” my doctor tells me as I painfully lie in my hospital bed wishing I could comfortably cross my legs. Better yet, wishing he had accidentally removed a part of my brain instead. I’d be better off.

Or how about this scenario:

“Well, the judge decided against you. I should have told him you were never near the scene of the crime. I forgot you were in the hospital that very same day having an operation. By the way, sorry to hear you’re one short,” my attorney tells me as the bailiff approaches with handcuffs way too small for my wrists.

If none of the above bothers you, then you probably wouldn’t mind if some real estate agents can’t spell either. This is something I could never understand. A real estate agent will facilitate the marketing and sale of the most important investment in most American’s lives. Attention to details should be paramount. But you would be surprised.

After over 19 years in the business, I do have some horror stories. One of my favorites is where the seller was told (by their real estate agent) that their escrow was coming along successfully and they should just go ahead and move out. So the seller packs up a lifetime of belongings, hires the movers and drives off into the sunset.

Oooops! Someone (think: real estate agent) forgot to verify if the buyer’s deposit check was any good. You read that correctly. Bad check equals bad escrow and bad escrow means no sale. This is a true story from the trenches of quaint Carmel. Gasp!

Here comes the finger pointing. The agent cries out angrily, “The title company never told me the check bounced!”

“Not my job”, the title company coyly replies.

The seller should have checked if their agent could spell. You see, an agent should spell the English language correctly or better yet, be able to use Spell Check on their computer. Maybe paying attention to contractual obligations (and other details, like spelling) would have prevented the seller from sitting somewhere across state lines living in a tent while the very expensive filled-to-the-hilt moving truck is idling in the parking lot.

Let’s take a look at some of the stuff one can see on the world-wide web’s real estate sites. Here are a couple of my favorites:

“… make this home quite versital …” from a listing in Monterey.

“… will be a great buy is you put some love, sweat …” from a listing in Seaside.

“House is on construccionincluiding a new roof … property will be sell as present condition.” Another one for a listing in Seaside.*

The list actually goes on but my all-time favorite is “… seperate entrance …” from a listing in Carmel! This is tough one for some real estate agents. It really should be on the state exam.

Here’s two more hot-off-the press. From a $2.6 million listing in Bay Ridge: “… seperate workshop … adjascent lot available.” And from a $300,000 listing in Seaside: “… large deckes …”.

Please keep in mind that I can spell. I never make mistakes. As a matter of fact, I recently told my ex-wife (No. 2) that when she married me, she married Mr. Right. She just didn’t know that my first name is Allways.

* English is the second language for this agent. But they passed the state exam, didn’t they?