No, seriously?  Yes, seriously.

I’m not going to put up with this unprofessional incompetent appraiser.  How could he possibly come in 60 grand below our agreed purchase price?  And he is licensed?  Whaaaat?  He is banned from setting foot on any of my listings ever again.

He needs to be spanked.  I’m filing a complaint with the California Bureau of Real Estate Appraisers.  And of course, I’m going to write a commentary on this episode to be posted on the internet.  You’re reading it now.  

I wish I can just use his real name but I shouldn’t really.  But if you call me, I’ll tell you who he is.  In the meantime, I’ll pretend his company is called BM Appraisals (BM stands for baby matter, since his appraisals stink*).

Fortunately for me and my seller, the buyer’s didn’t agree with BM’s opinion of value either.  They switched lenders and ordered another appraisal.  The new appraiser turned out to be very competent.  I now have in my possession two appraisal reports on my listing with two very different values – as stated in the first paragraph, a 60 grand spread.  Yikes!  Waddup wit dat??   How can that be, you ask?  The answer lies in the value basis of a subjective opinion.

Let’s compare the objective facts … oops, sorry as I mean the subjective opinions of the two appraisals.  Again, I shouldn’t use the second appraiser’s real name so I’ll refer to them as TL Appraisals.  TL stands for Thank our Lord since I’m very thankful of God’s intervention for bringing me a competent appraiser.

BM used comparable sales that were 5 to 6 months old and were also about 400 square feet less than the subject property (my listing).  I’m in trouble already as this dude is a total kook.  My opinion, of course.  It took him 10 days to complete his lame and smelly (my opinion) report.

TL used comps that were really recent sales like 2 months old at the most and within 100 square feet of my listing’s floor area.  TL completed his report in 3 days.  This appraiser knows his stuff!  Naturally, his value comes in at purchase price because it is supported by the most recent factual data available.  By the way, ALL of the comparables used in both reports were available on the date of both appraisals.

I can tell that this commentary is going to require a more detailed explanation and will be much too long for my web site’s home page.  More to this story real soon.  In the meantime, click HERE for my tome on the appraisal fiasco that I wrote two years ago.

* My baby daughter’s BM didn’t smell bad at all.  It was rather pleasant.  Similar to appraisers – as where one buyer might think their appraisal report is just fine but I think it stinks.  It’s a matter of opinion, y’know.