Somebody bake me a cake with a file in it please.  I need to break out of here.
June 14th, 2013 Version I

You listing’s remarks were brought to our attention as a possible MLS rules violation.

Title held in trust so please allow 7/8 days for seller response to all offers. Agents on my A list may call me for WAF conversation. B list agents need to remember the adage: "do unto others as they do unto you". Also please make sure buyer's lender is not on our Fecal Roster as this could affect your offer's reception. RPA, PAL & POF as separate PDF via email please. www.jamesfrangella.com/toyon

There doesn’t seem to be a direct MLS rules violation for this language, however the appropriateness may cause some concern.

I totally agree with you on the appropriateness of the term “fecal”.  However, it was definitely more appropriate than the word most agents do know.  But you're right.  It was not on the state exam so some agents wouldn't know what it means.  I thought I could get away with it.  In the spirit of cooperation, I’ve removed the term “fecal”.  I promise not to use it again ... maybe.

Specifically, announcing that your brokerage keeps unfavorable “lists” of agents or lenders could possibly be used against you later should someone feel discriminated against.

The B list agents should feel discriminated.  That’s the whole idea.  This list consists of the names of agents that have practiced rude, unprofessional and discourteous behavior. The most serious offense is not returning phone calls, which could easily be proved by reviewing cell phone logs.  I place the call and leave a message.  Of course, they don't pick up.  Yet nowhere on my phone statement will you find any of their numbers calling me back.

My list of “unfavorable” lenders is also based on facts and not opinion.  Why would someone use a loan officer that cannot count correctly the number of days from acceptance to close of escrow or overlook simple negative remarks on a borrower’s credit report.  Or how about asking me to sign a "Arm's Length Transaction Affivadit" knowing full well that the buyer is also the buyer's agent?  Believe me - fraud is alive and well in the mortgage industry.

I certainly do discriminate against lousy service, which is measured by facts and not just my mere opinion.  A simple polling by my fellow colleagues asking for the names of offenders will reveal certain individuals consistently.  It’s no big secret who they are.  Everybody I know has their secret, quiet B list agents.  I'm the only one with the testicles (oops, sorry about that) to make it known.

They could use this type of announcement to demonstrate that indeed you provide preferential treatment to specific persons or businesses.

Guilty as hell so let the B list agents sue me!  I do indeed provide preferential treatment.  Specifically to professionals who pay attention to details and provide outstanding service.  And why not?  I certainly would not frequent a restaurant with over-priced, feces-tasting (oops, sorry) food with crappy (oh my, I blew it again) service.

We would appreciate the removal of the term “fecal” and would hope you would reconsider these remarks as a whole.

Okay, I guess.  But how about "poop" list or maybe "poopie" list or better yet - The No. 2 List?